tears ..
Saturday, May 30, 2009
ii was frustrated with myself & ii start to get angry ..
ii'm starting on my LLA project ..ii have no idea what to do ..but at least ii have the intro right ..
ask help from bf ,but he dont know what the hell ii'm gg through & we fought ...
ii cried coz of him ,ii cried coz ii'm wasting his time & ii cried coz ii dont know what to do ..
he gives me ideas ,but its not relevant ..& ii appreciate it of his effort ..end up ,we fought coz of what ii msg him ,bla bla bla ..he breaks my heart over & over again ..& ii cried ..again ..
after we hang up ,ii called emika ,clear my throat & try to talk as normal as possible ..after getting some idea ,from someone who's on the same page as me ,ii calm down ,relaxed & start on my LLA ..
he's not the bad guy ,ii am ..ii msg him nonscence things ,like : are we drifting away or smth ..
its because that is how ii feel in my relationship ..
yes ,ii was suppose to mit him ytd ,but idk why ii was too tired & lazy to get out after sch so ii stayed home ...
& again yes today ii was suppose to mit him again ,but he expects me to go over to his place ..while ii cant ..
& yes ii miss his family awhole lot !but ii dont think ii can concentrate if ii come over to his place .. ii'm the one who puts too much pressure on him ..ii'm the one who always make him unhappy ..ii'm the one who always in wrong ..ii'm the one who always talk nonscence ..ii'm the one who starts all the fights/arguments ..ii'm a disaster for him ,): ..ii'm too down to say anything else ..idk what ii'm suppose to feel ..ily..imy ..ii'm soo stress ..family ,r'ship & sch ...
nobody know what ii'm gg through ...
)': ..Labels: sadness
~(5:00 PM)